A Good Day....

What a day…life can create moments that both break your heart and seem impossible to wrap your mind around. Forcing us to become a bigger and stronger person just to overcome the challenges we face. Life is hard and life can be painful. But, life is also beautiful. I think we have to remember that life is full of blessings and that happiness is achievable. That even through the hard times, there is still love, wonderful smiles, hugs, and happy(not always sad) tears. That not all things end up being bad. That maybe growing bigger and stronger is good, even if it is hard.


Today was a hard day with a beautiful ending…today has renewed my belief in the power of thought and the blessings of family. Thank you for your love and support for our family during Fred’s surgery and we are so happy to know that everything is OK. Here is sister’s post update. Life is good! I love my family!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

We had a wonderful day...hope you did too!!!

Prayers and Positive Thoughts...PLEASE

My brother-in-law is in the hospital and he needs your support...sister too...please!!!!

Today the Girl said....

BLOODY 'ELL...with an English accent...hmmmm...We let her watch the first Harry Potter movie (with some editing) because she was fascinated by the MAGIC....I guess that's not all she picked up. I laughed...she didn't see me...but I laughed :)

Got to keep my optomistic hat on....

I am feeling a little down today. I have a cold/kicking head/cough thing going on and I am not enjoying it…I think if you are going to get sick it should just kick you in the A$$ and then move on, not linger for days and make you only half useless.

I got two calls from my doctor’s office this week. The first to tell me that my labs were normal (sweet my levels are normal and I am still not pregnant) and that they were going to go ahead and DOUBLE my dosage. OK I can deal with that, maybe on the new dosage I will actually puke instead of just wishing I would. The second call I got yesterday and they left me a lovely voicemail saying that they would go ahead and refill my prescription for two months and that I needed to call Dr. Blah Blah Blah and schedule an appointment in the next month or so because they were referring me on to a specialist. Which is fine and I was processing it really well yesterday, but today it is just not OK. I have that little monster that sits in your chest and tries to creep up your throat while simultaneously forcing fluid out your eyes…I just want to cry about this. I feel completely in the dark and completely out of control and no matter what I do to try and make myself feel better with what is going on…what is going on with MY BODY...it fails. I can become an absolute obsessive freak and stress myself to no end or I can pretend nothing is wrong; I can’t seem to find the balance…the middle. To top it all off our insurance does not cover that kind of specialist…let’s all join together and pour some salt on my wounds here…you can give me a little kick too... if you want. Sorry to be a negative Nancy but seriously…on the CSI I watched last night they stole a baby and it was a hell of a lot easier than all this. Please note I would NEVER steel someone’s baby. It was actually scary how easy they made it look.

Last night T and I went to dinner with my mom and dad. We actually waited FOREVER for our food, at one point during our 40 minute wait Tae was working on the menu activities while I was chatting with my parents. She nudged me and said, “where is 13?” I looked over to see that she had completed a “connect-the-dots” accurately up to 12…” I pointed that out to everyone saying “look guys...Tae did a great job connecting 1 – 12 and now she can’t seem to find 13!!!” All the while thinking “are you freakin’ kidding me”…anyhow I showed her where 13 was, we continued our conversation, Tae continued her connecting. Then a few minutes later she nudges me AGAIN and says “Mom, I can’t seem to find 34” I showed her and she continued up to 39. She can obviously identify the numbers 1 – 39…she is blowing my stuffy kicking head!!!

I finished all my ornaments, packaged them and sent them off on Wednesday. I haven’t received any new ones yet…maybe everyone else waited till the last minute like I did??

You should check out Sister's ornament and K's ornament...they rocked this swap!

Bird Butts....

Last night I was sitting on the couch with N watching TV and sewing my bird’s butts closed…to be more specific I was sitting on the ottoman and N was sitting on the couch. I have a habit; a habit I think is good because it eliminates the needle in the foot option, of sticking my sewing needle in the couch in between uses. Good habit right??? So, I was way more into the show than I was the sewing…we were watching Boston Legal, I think that show is a hoot! When I finished with a bird I would cut the thread and stick the needle in the couch so I could tie off the thread and get the next bird ready…except this one time the needle wouldn’t stick in the couch. I could feel a blanket under my hand and I didn’t want to take my eyes off the show (good part) so I gave it one last jab and then realized when I set the rest of my hand down that I wasn’t resting my hand on the couch….It was N’s FOOT!!! When I turned around he was giving me the look of DEATH and I asked sheepishly “did I poke you???” he replied “YEAH, you just STABBED me in the FOOT!!!” then I was all “I am sorry, it was a really good part in the show. I didn’t do it on purpose!!!” I checked his foot, no blood…we finished the show, I finished the birds. I can’t believe I stabbed him in the foot with my sewing needle…probably a couple of times :( So much for avoiding the needle in the foot scenario!

Weekend Wonders....

We had a really mellow weekend….It was really nice having N home and not having to fulfill any obligations. We went to T’s dance class on Saturday morning, went to Target and then came home and packed. Then we packed some more…and some more. I don’t think I have mentioned we are moving…We are moving!!! About five city blocks from where we are now….BIG move. Anyhow, Tae and I set up a little tree in her room (an overly pink tree) since we won’t be completely moved until the weekend before X-mas (brilliant, right?) and we aren’t decorating until then. We wanted her to have some sense of holiday spirit, even if it is only four feet tall, fake and PINK.

Saturday night was spent writing a paper about how 3 communication theories relate to me…it was interesting…me trying to write how I don’t really communicate my feelings with very many people…Blogging was not part of the equation in this paper….and then analyzing which theories fit best with me…it was actually a little painful but it turned out to be pretty darn good paper.

I worked on my ornaments yesterday and when I made the first one I was instantly pissed because it looked like a lizard/dinosaur combo and not really anything like a bird. But I played around with the pattern and I think they are OK now.??. I am not in love with them, but at least I am not completely embarrassed to send them out, just a little. This was way more pressure than I had anticipated….it is a little intimidating making an ornament for a stranger, not knowing if they will actually keep it and hang it on their tree or if they will give it the boot and introduce it to the trash bin. They don’t have the emotional responsibility to keep it that a family member might have, they know I won’t be at their house EVER and so I will never know if they actually kept it or not. Man, they better keep my ornament.

Tae has come to a conclusion as to why people ride motorcycles. She is very observant about the safety factor involved with motorcycles and calls out anyone who is not wearing a helmet. She is a little obsessive about trying to rationalize why they would ever take off their helmet…her mind just doesn’t stop…and she is genuinely appalled. I am going to apologize in advance to Papa D and Mama J, our motorcycle loving family members…this is what the girl has decided:
“People only ride motorcycles because they don’t have enough money for cars and they think the bus is too stinky. So they just have a house and a motorcycle!”
We did explain that this was not the case…that most people who have a motorcycle also have a car…but we couldn’t get her to budge on the fact that the bus is stinky…I kinda think the bus is stinky too, but N thought it was important for her to think of the bus as a positive thing…not a stinky one.???.

I am feeling a little better, pills are done for this month and my arm has healed. Yeah!!! I don’t look like a junkie anymore!!!!

Here are some SAD attempts at visuals for this post.

If you thought I was kidding about the PINKNESS of the tree...I was not.

Oh, the never ending packing!!! Look!!! there's that darn Jess Runkle again!!!

And the ornaments...They look like birds right???

The bottoms are still open and their Stuff(ing) is poking out...but would you hang this on your tree???

Lastly, it is AMAZING what a 4 year old can do with a plastic hammer and some nails. Why mess around with the big heavy hammer...When Little Tikes gets the job done??? Seriously??

Damn you PILLS....

Actually I feel really REALLY sick!

Four year old loathes book...

Last night was girlie night…we went out to dinner and then wandered next door to our favorite bookstore. As we walked in T and I made an agreement that she would follow the one finger rule and only touch breakable items with…ONE finger. This lasted about 3 minutes(not too shabby) at which point we headed to the children’s section…played with the train set (I know it sounds like we are at barne$ and noble, but we aren’t) looked at all the other toys, played all the musical instruments and then the girl was finally ready for the books. We headed our separate ways down the shelf looking for the first book to read, out of the corner of my eye I see the tall circular book display spinning and spinning round and round….thinking whose kid is doing THAT??? MAN, that’s annoying!!!…that’s right, it was MINE! My kid…of course it was MY kid. So we (by “we” I mean “I”) regroup and start looking at the books on the “oh so fun to spin display” and then Tae spots a book she is so excited to see. “MOM look!!!! It’s a ROBERT MUNSCH BOOK!!!” “Wow Tae that’s really great!” (thinking who the hell is Robert MUNSCH??) and then I remembered they were reading some of his books at school a few months back, “do you want to read it???” “Just a minute Mom”….so I sit on the little bench and obediently wait for my master….only to have her walk over with 5 books…thinking ok, that’s cool, I can read 5 books. So then she says “Mom look, these are all Robert Munsch books!!!” …and they WERE, every single one was a Munsch book! Then she proceeded to tell me the names of the books and when she came to the last one she said “I haven’t read this one but I KNOW it is Robert Munsch.” So now I am thinking that her intelligence is sure to surpass me in a few years and I am just going to feel like a big dummy while she teaches me all the secrets to being an intelligent person (trying not to drool on myself). Of course I read all 5 books, and honestly they were a bit odd. I really liked parts of most of them but they all contained a weird tone of humor and they used words that are “bad words” in our 4 year old world…so I managed to talk my way out of buying them and all the while I was trying to figure out who this guy was and why is it that they were reading these weird books at school??? So after I got T to bed I g*ggled the name “Robert Munsch” only to find out he wrote this book….the “I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you for always…”

Tae DESPISES this book; seriously I had to take it out of her room because she told me it was a HORRIBLE BOOK. When we read it, I think almost 2 years ago, she kept asking me what was wrong with the mommy and why was she looking like THAT??? Meaning she didn’t understand why she was old…and then she figured it out and when you combine that with the fact that I read the book through (my) blubbering tears, she told me we were NEVER going to read that book again. Honestly it is a pretty sad book and you really only read it when you want to torture yourself and feel like sobbing like a baby, yet I am pretty sure most of us have a copy of this book…I have 2 . The gist of the story is very sweet but I find things like that a bit morbid…like the question “what song do you want playing at your funeral??”… Sorry, not really planning that out right now…too busy with LIFE. (However if you find these things comfortable or exciting, you are obviously emotionally stronger than I). Anyhow, poor girl!!! If she knew her new favorite off the wall author wrote her least favorite book in the whole world, I don’t think she would be too happy...she might flip a little.

I don’t mean to paint this loved author (and he is loved, there is stuff all over the web about him) in a bad light, it may have just been the books we selected or maybe I am just too sensitive to words like “brainless copycat” “I hate you” and “you are a Bum” in my four year olds vocabulary along with her wide eyes every time we came to the word “hate”, which was about 50 times in the book about the hair. I did enjoy the one about the stinky socks, that one was funny. At least now I know who Robert Munsch is and I am on the up and up with my daughter’s class...too bad I graduated from preschool about 25 years ago.

I got ornaments....and I am not sure what to say about this....

So far I have received three ornaments from my “Ornament Exchange” and to be honest….I haven’t made any of mine yet….not good. They have to be mailed by the 10th so I still have a little time, and with my NEW sewing machine N got me for my birthday, I should be able to bust them out in no time….which is good because I have NO time :)
So these are the three I have, it is really fun to get each little package and Tae and I open them with anticipation of what we will find inside. I like the little house and how it is personalized with the “S” (I am assuming it is an S for Sarah and not an S for Santa???) it makes it seem extra special. The quilt pillow is so sweet because it appears it has been made out of an older quilt which makes me wonder about the history involved in my little square??? And the little mushroom, I personally like it, N thinks it’s odd but I think it is fun and I am sooo curious how it was made, it is very light.

These kind stranger people are also creative and so fun with their packaging…I am really enjoying this exchange…even though it isn’t an exchange yet because I haven’t sent anyone anything.

Lastly we have the girl….seriously???? Look at the girl, the sweet girl who is wearing her pajama pants like a _____ (rhymes with cooker) dress. She has squeezed her solid little body into one of the pant legs and has one arm through the other leg….she has on her sparkle shoes from VN and is feeling all glamorous….She wanted to wear this to SCHOOL this morning. I know I have said it before, but seriously is there any hope for me???? I am actually embarrassed to show you this picture, you have to consider the fact that it is 7am and we are rushing to get ready for school, those were the pants she wore to bed last night. She is just CREATIVE :)

Did you KNOW.....

Out of the blue yesterday Tae burst out the following statements with more enthusiasm than a cheer squad captain...

Did you know that there is a computer in your head? Did you know that? It’s called your brain and it makes decisions and tells you what to do!!!! Did you know that MOM??? A computer in your HEAD!!!
AND…Did you know that you have 5 senses???? FIVE MOM!!!! Hear, smell, touch and taste!!!! FIVE!!!

Honey, that’s only four???

And SEE!!! MOM and SEE!!!! Hear, smell, taste, touch, and…and….and…SEE!!!!

FIVE senses AND a COMPUTER in your HEAD!!!!

What else did you do at school today???

I don’t know???

I love watching her learn and grow…I am SO fortunate to have such a bright child. I love my girl.

Other tid-bits of info for you....

Did you know that the woman who drew my blood on Monday has left me with a HUGE bruise on my arm??? Now I look like a junkie…thanks for the botched blood job!!!

And lastly….did you know that I watched Britney’s For the Record last night and it was SAD. I feel bad for the poor girl/woman/mom…seriously you all know I cried but it really was sad…not just crazy hormonal sad…just sad. I thought she was very honest…I don’t blame her for shaving her head and beating a car with an umbrella…I would probably do the same thing if I was her…I would FLIP OUT!!! OK that’s enough…but if you think I am lame for watching Britney…Sorry… I love that stuff…I could watch reality TV and teen movies FOREVER…love it.

And I know that Tae's "did you know" is about 50000000 times more intelligent than mine...no need to point that out. :)

Home...

So we are back from our little adventure…we really had a great time but we are all exhausted. As I said before we went to Sea World on Turkey Day and had a blast…perfect day…not very crowded and it was just really magical watching Tae. We were a bit concerned on the drive over because Miss T had developed a chest cold and was coughing up a storm (she actually sounded like a seal and we thought that was pretty appropriate given the nature of our trip) but she got a decent amount of sleep and really it wasn’t an option to tell her we were going to wait a few days…so we went ahead and she did pretty well….must have been all the adrenalin from her excitement. So to sound like a little kid, I thought Sea World was AMAZING and with all my sappy emotions and over dose of hormones I will admit that I got a little teary at the shows and the pure joy and amazement on my child’s face…I have no shame…I know.


There is one area of the park that is new (I am thinking it is new because everyone I talked to didn’t know it existed) called the Elmo Park…it has a pretty cool climbing structure…actually really cool climbing structure (would be cooler if N hadn’t seen a kid throw up at the entrance), about 3 rides and some other water and sand activities for kids (not sure why you would want your kid covered in sand walking around the park, maybe I am not as cool as the other mommies…I don’t know) …basically a place to let you kiddies run off some of their Sea World high. One of the rides is called “Elmo’s Flying Fish” it is the equivalent of the Dumbo ride or any other kiddie ride that goes in a circle and the object you are riding in goes up and down….nothing crazy and there definitely isn’t any EXTREME force placed on your body…Tae and I decide to go on this ride…and here is the KICKER…the woman stopped me to ask if I might be EXPECTING because if I am she won’t be able to allow me on the ride!!!! Stupid Lady!!!! I wish I had been faster on the come back, I just looked at her and said “WHAT???”…then she gave me the shameful “I am so sorry, enjoy your ride”…Hey, like they say…Fake it till you make it!!! Glad I have the appearance part of being pregnant down….SERIOUSLY???? That really sucked!!! Anyway, after that we had a funnel cake (thought I should keep that pregnant appearance thriving) and went on a few more rides…not a good choice since the remaining rides were all spinning rides. This part of the park was all good (minus the “this ride is too violent for you and you unborn child”) but I can’t seem to figure out what Elmo has to do with Sea World??? Tae thought it was AWESOME…especially the Elmo dance show…she still loves Elmo and I am happy to let her.


We spend some time with my Aunt B and Tae got to hang out with her bazillion cousins that all live within a few blocks of Aunt B’s house. She was pretty shy at first but once she was comfortable she was true to Tae nature and went wild…she had a blast!
N’s soccer team made it to the finals and the boys ended up getting second place which was a complete bonus for the trip. I was really happy for N and the boys.

Tae has been overly active lately and by that I mean fearlessly flinging her body and trying to jump, flip and slide on and off of everything. N and I are trying to explain to her that she is not indestructible and that she can get hurt. The worst part is that I was EXACTLY the same way and when I was 8 I did (tried to do) a flip off a table and broke both bones in my left arm. I was explaining this to Tae (minus the details of how I did it) and I showed her my scar and how I had to have surgery and a cast for SO long that I couldn’t go swimming all summer and it hurt really bad and I cried a lot (not really, just trying to lay it on thick). Do you know what her response was??? “Why Mom, were you a BABY??!!!???” Seriously, she is insane. And to set the record straight I am not a big baby and I only cried once, it was in surgery and it was when they set the bones and I was unconscious so it was out of my control…so there! And it is ok to cry!

Two major accomplishments for T this weekend: She went potty in a sticky potty and even better than that she learned how to pop a squat…sorry if that is TMI for some of you but this is a necessary skill a girl must have and we have been struggling with this one. Not going to disclose the location of where we mastered this much needed nature skill; I’ll just say it was used in a very urban area; nonetheless I am proud of the talent.

N’s favorite comment from the trip:
After N sneezed he said “excuse me, sorry” only to quickly have this response from the girl:
“What’s up with the “SORRY” Dad? You already said excuse me; you don’t have to say both!” A good laugh was had by all.

Just had my blood drawn (by the way the woman did a horrible job and continued to jab me with the needle as she changed each vial…sorry for the visual Gin) to check my levels and I will start round two of my pills tonight…watch out…the hormones should be extra high by tomorrow afternoon.

Here are some pictures to top off this monstrous post:

Sea World....

N & T fed these to the sea lions....Mama said EWWW!!!

Say SHAMU!!!!

I think Tae wins for coolest shoes :)

See how frightened we are after the flying fish ride...

Digging for snails at Aunt B's....

Beach Walk....