twitterless...

I am a dork. I tried to figure out twitter. I can’t figure out how to use the text feature. I even called my cell phone provider and had the customer service rep walk me through the concept. I guess I am just twitter challenged. So, if you are following me…you won’t be seeing much action. =/



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Touched....

Today I was lucky enough to receive some very generous donations towards our fundraising raffle. I am very touched that these people are willing to sponsor our efforts by giving us an item. Most of the people I contacted make the items themselves. I tried to find pieces and people that I thought were special. I appreciate the hard work they put into their items and I appreciate their generosity. I can’t even express how grateful I am. I was very apprehensive about contacting people and was surprised at the warm responses I received. I am very concerned about offending someone. That is not my intention. I hope they understand. We are just a family waiting for a baby.

Thank you...I am so very grateful!!!!

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The BIRDS.....

Last night the birds did not sleep. The birds outside of Tae’s window did not sleep. Last night Tae did not sleep. So, last night I did not sleep either. We are tired. 2 am and the birds were having a gab fest…I was so tired that part of me thought it might be a joke. It was so loud I thought maybe someone was out there with a tape recorder. Silly me. It was surreal.

This morning I made pancakes for breakfast. Tae hugged my leg and jump up and down with excitement. I got a heartfelt “thank you mama, thank you mama”…she ate six small ones. She can pack those pancakes in. We were late for school. It was worth it. So worth it!

Tonight Tae is going on an adventure with one of her friends from school. It was an optional sleepover event, I opted out. Partly because I think she is too small, partly because of the challenges we have been having lately, partly because she hasn’t been getting enough sleep. It should be interesting when I go to get her later tonight. While she is away I plan to go to the grocery store. I am excited. I love pacing up and down the aisles looking at all the items. It drives everyone else crazy and so I never get to pace to my full potential. There is something therapeutic about pacing a store.

Trying not to think about the SCORPIONS!

Oh No You Didn't....

I am totally freaked. I went outside to get something from my car. I left the front door open and when I came back there was a SCORPION waiting for me, just inside the house. I was afraid to walk by him so I went into the garage and got a broom. When I came back he was missing!!! I found him and smashed him with the broom stick. Outside I can kinda deal with…INSIDE ABSOLUTELY NOT! I called the exterminator and they can’t come till Tuesday :( I was hoping they would come today. This one was bigger than the last one. NASTY. They are almost the same color as our tile and a similar color as our walls and that made him a little hard to see. Very freaky.

For some reason I can’t seem to kill a cockroach or a cricket, maybe because they are so gross. But a scorpion, I am all over it. I think because I feel like it is challenging me…taunting me with its nasty stinger. Forcing me into ‘Mommy Protection Mode’ and I just smash it.

I am not happy about the spraying, but I can't risk having scorpions in my house.

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What a Girl...

I often look at Tae and try to imagine what she will be like when she gets older. I look at her and see how beautiful she is…I see her sweetness…she is quirky…she is funny…she is intelligent…she is strength…she is love…she is life…she is happiness.

Today was a wonderful afternoon. We put on some music and danced around the house. Tae has been obsessed with a scarf of mine and every day after school she insists I tie it around her like a dress. N has been playing a form of tennis with Tae and they have dragged out all my old rackets. Today Tae found a new use for the racket and started to rock out!!!…. I am so happy I was able to get these pictures. These are TRUE Tae moments...

This is a girl of extremes…Strong mind, strong heart…this can be challenging for me at times but also something that I appreciate. We are similar in that way. After all the craziness I did find her sitting on the couch gently strumming on the racket and singing ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’…she is happiness.

The realization...

I have reached my first realization about becoming a teacher, my first defining factor…I don’t want to be a math teacher…just to clarify…I have absolutely NO desire to be a math teacher…Zero interest…and frankly, it probably isn’t a good idea. I’ll bow out now and let someone else take that role.

Art anyone???



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Hey...

If you stop by......Say "Hi"

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I'd really like to meet you :)

And such is life....

I have been a little MIA from the blog lately….I am just so busy. My mind is racing and the wheels are turning and unfortunately they are turning in 500 directions…so I haven’t made much progress. I guess the wheels are just spinning at the moment. Tae has been extra challenging lately and I think that has caused me to just be emotionally drained. The home study visit went REALLY WELL and I am literally jittery with excitement. A little part of me is terrified at how fast this is moving. Honestly it is moving so fast that we are planning the baby room and busting out the crib in the next few weeks. Not saying we will bring our baby home that soon, just that we are realizing that this is a smooth and efficient process and we better make those spinning wheels a bit more productive. I want to be prepared!

I am starting another blog that I will be using for all things baby…it is just temporary and I will not keep it up forever. It will contain my thoughts and letters to baby (I know boring for some of you) but it will also be a fundraising tool for our adoption. Nothing crazy. We are trying to make it as fun as possible and create a raffle process that will be appealing to a wide variety of people. I have been racking my brain to try and figure out the best fundraising tool and this is what I have come up with, low cost (for all involved) + lots of prizes = Amazing fundraiser. It isn’t ready yet, but I will link to it when it is. I don’t plan to link that blog to Chasing T because we plan to distribute the new one more freely and I don’t want every person I ever knew (or strangers at the coffee shop) to check me out here…I think that is understandable. If you have any ideas for me please let me know.

So many things to do and I really just want to sit down and be crafty…maybe tomorrow :)

True Beauty....

I am excited!

Today is our 2nd home study visit. The house is CLEAN, thanks for all your help Noni & Poppy :) Just finishing a few documents and we should be all set. Wish us luck!!!



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I will HUG you...

The last few days I have been feeling overwhelmed thinking about who our birthmother is (or will be). Thinking about what she is doing right now. I keep wondering if she has made her decision yet. Wondering if she is sad, hoping she isn’t. Is she scared? I can’t help it, I am a caring person. I am a fixer. If I try to put myself in this other woman’s position I start to feel ill. It is unimaginable for me. I think that there are many different interpretations of what type of woman would give her baby up for adoption. Mine would be that it is a selfless woman. Someone courageous, someone whose love is so great for their child, they are willing to remove themselves from the picture and think only of the child. In my heart, that is how I see it.

I wonder if she will read my words and look at our pictures and know that we are the right choice. I hope that when she decides, she feels good about it and doesn’t second guess us, second guess our love. The love we are barely able to contain, the love that is here just waiting for her beautiful baby, for OUR beautiful baby. I wonder and I worry and part of me can’t help but feel sad for her. I hope she has someone to hold her hand, someone to let her know that it will all be OK.

Looking ahead to the day we meet, I can’t imagine going empty handed. Maybe if I have something to give it won’t feel so awkward. Maybe I won’t be so nervous, because I know I will be very nervous. I know that it will be an amazing beautiful day. I know that I will be overjoyed; I will be so grateful and feel so blessed. But I also know that I will feel her sadness, and that will be hard. Will it be odd if I hug her, will she be uncomfortable when I cry? How do I say thank you? Thank you with my whole heart. How do I make sure she knows how much I appreciate her?

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Snip Snip….

I knew it would happen someday…but part of me still hoped we would skip this stage of life. I guess it is considered a rite of passage for a young girl, some boys too, and I should be extremely grateful that it was not more drastic. It could have been worse; it could have been to the scalp. Here is the weapon and the evidence…

At first glance it isn’t too noticeable, but I am not sure how many people have long bangs that extend to the back of their head. Basically the left side of Tae’s hair in to her chin, the back and the right side are unharmed and remain past her shoulders. Good times :)

Happy Easter....

*art work courtesy of Miss T :)

Cousins of the ♥....

We really had an amazing time with K, La & Lu. It was a wonderful visit, a much needed visit, and really just a comfort. K visiting is like “home” coming for a visit. Like a part of me returning, a part of who I am as a person, a piece of my childhood walking through my front door & making me smile. She is just comfort for me. We always said that we would grow up and live next door to each other, each have a house with a white picket fence and our kids would be best friends. To be honest we still say that, maybe because we aren’t really “grown up” yet??? Not sure, just hoping it actually happens some day. But for now, I am happy with the visits and overjoyed that the girls are able to have each other, even if it is only a week at a time. According to the 2 older girls, the "firecrackers", the ones cut from the same cloth who simultaneous drive both the moms to chocolate, they are cousins. Which really couldn’t be more true, cousins of the heart ♥.

Such sweet girls…beautiful, sweet girls! Here are some of my favorite shots from the week.

We miss you girls!

Just a sneak peak....

...of what we have been up to the past week. It has been quiet on here...but crazy fun at our house. K La & Lu have been with us the past week...SO MUCH FUN!

Such beautiful girls...