31/365...(heart)...

I made this heart with the street light outside our house...fun right?

I (heart) her and the beautiful light she brings to our life...

I caught a puppy smile...cuteness!!!

30/365...catching up...

I took this picture of Tae yesterday...I just LOVE it....

I've been sick with a head cold/flu bug for the past 5 days...it's getting old!

Night

29/365...Cup of wisdom

28/365...Today I had the pleasure….

Stop looking at my socks!!!

….of getting a hysterosalpingogram. It wasn’t as awful as I had anticipated. Honestly I was terrified about having this test done and what the potential results could mean. I woke up in the middle of the night just to tell N I did not want to go. The nurse said I would have to wait for my doctor to review the results before I would know and the thought of waiting made me feel a little sick. I was lucky though; the doctor performing the test was in a great mood and told me my results at the end of the test. NORMAL. Yeah for NORMAL (when normal is what you are aiming for)!!! I would not want to have this test done again, but I have to say that I do feel better knowing I am ok. I took Tae's felt heart, it made me feel brave.

Funny thing happened. January 21st came and went and I wasn’t able to put my finger on why that day was important. I kept thinking all day that something important happened on the 21st, it kept popping up in my mind that I was forgetting something. All last month I kept thinking how that day was coming up and it would officially be two years since I was last pregnant. But then it came and I missed it. I have been trying to figure it out all week, what was the 21st, and it finally dawned on me yesterday. Now I can’t stop trying to figure out how I forgot.

27/365...Doing the penguin dance…

26/365...talking hands...

I have been really impressed with Tae’s sign language skills the last couple of weeks. Sign language and Spanish have always been incorporated in her school day. She has been working really hard on her reading and writing and is always writing, sounding out or spelling words. I noticed yesterday she was asking me how to spell a couple of words, except she wasn’t writing them down; she was spelling them out with her hands. Very cool!

25/365...Hope...

According to Webster…hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation.

As a survival tactic I know that I am refusing myself the ability to get excited about a baby…It sounds awful but it really is necessary. I do feel a little bitter at times that our situation has robbed me of the joy of excitement….But as the definition states…I do still cherish my desire. I often feel like I am excited, but have realized that it is hope that I am feeling. Since we have not made it far enough that a baby is a true reality…Since our situation has not changed enough that we can get excited without the fear of devastation…Since I am trying to protect myself…I am happy that we have hope. Hope is powerful…Hope makes me smile.

24/365....Terrarium....

SO much FUN!!!

23/365...little boxes....

I asked N if he would go on a stay-at-home date with me tonight. I went by BB and spotted these new treasures on the self. We have been waiting for months for this recent season to come out on DVD…yes they are that addictive. Off to make popcorn!
Night

22/365...smells like chocolate....

21/365...I LOVE the rain

20/365....

Not the best day…not the worst day. Either way…tomorrow is a new day.

Night

19/365...Today made me feel….

It is also raining, which I have always known to be a blessing. It is auspicious to have rain on a special day. Today was a day of acceptance.

today made me feel...

it is also raining, which i have always known to be a blessing. it is auspicious to have rain on a special day. today was a day of acceptance...today we were approved by our agency. let the fun begin.

18/365...Inspiration….

Martin Luther King Jr....

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically
bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of
peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth
and unconditional love will have the final word…. This is why right, temporarily
defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you
doing for others?'”

“Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.”

“Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon, which cuts without
wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.”

“We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the
same boat now.”

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who
is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some
good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

He was a great man.... he is an inspiration.

This makes me smile....

17/365...Introducing ROXY….

….the newest addition to our family. She is a (approximately) 6 week old Rottweiler (mix) puppy. She was found with her 8 brothers and sisters living under a car at an abandoned house. How could we resist the cuteness?

As a comparison do you see her size next to Bru?…she is just slightly smaller but possibly weighs more…she won’t be tiny for long!

16/365…Happy Birthday Dear Friend…

Ohhhh how I LOVE you!!! I have been thinking of you all day wishing I lived closer so I could help make this day special. Just know that having you as a friend for the last 20+ years means the world to me! You are a true smile in my heart. Tonight I will eat chocolate cake in your honor. I celebrate you!

ps…don’t get mad about the picture…you look cute…I look odd.

15/365....kindness

For quite some time we have been looking for a dream catcher for Tae’s room…it has been on the list since she started to have night terrors. Every time we came across one it wasn’t authentic. How can it work if it isn’t authentic? Tonight after dinner Tae and I went for a walk with Noni and Poppy. Tae wandered in a store with Poppy and when I came in she had a dream catcher in her hand. I started to “preach” the one finger rule when the owner of the store said it was her gift to Tae. How sweet right? When I explained that we had been looking for one, she said it was meant to be. I love the kindness of strangers. Dream catchers are supposed to catch all the bad dreams, leaving you with only good ones.

This was my fortune at dinner tonight….

Lastly, as a side note….I returned to the gym today. Felt good. I definitely have some tension to burn off….not to mention some other fatty stuff.

signed...sealed...delivered....

today i mailed our agency application...very exciting!

14/365...Signed, sealed and delivered….

I am going to do this....

Thanks 'K' for sharing this with me :) If you knit....you should consider participating too!

13/365...doors

Today we all returned to our regular routines…mine being getting our house back in balance. I have really enjoyed the holiday season and the recent trip we took. It is not very often that we are able to spend time together as a family…aspects of life always seems to get in the way. I enjoy the noise that others make; the ciaos that family creates…maybe even rely a little on the distractions they offer.

I am home in a quite house and I have no other option but to listen to my own thoughts. I have been thinking a lot about the doors of life…I’ve mentioned it here before. I keep returning to that one door in my life that isn’t closed, yet it is not completely open. A door stuck in limbo, and life is not meant to be lived in limbo. I realize that I often tell myself that door is closed, it’s easier that way. Still, my hope and desire always push it open just a little. Today marks a day of making an effort and trying something new to try and prop that door open. Wish me luck, because for me this is a heavy door and I don’t know how long I can keep it open.

12/365...date with my girl....

11/365...Family

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10/365...Exploring the new yet familiar joys of snow…

9/365 All dressed up with somewhere to go...

8/365...museum fun...

Tae and I had a great day at the science and nature museum…lunch date included…science experiment mastered…dinosaur encounter…minerals, gems and a cave exploring….Astronauts and crater making…mummies and tombs… microscopes…and so many other things I can’t seem to remember. Girl’s night is waiting for me and I am ready. Nighty night.

7/365...D town is a COLD town....

The day went really well. Tae was a HUGE helper pulling two little suitcases all by herself. She entertained herself on the plane with an iPod (with a dead battery) and her fisher price head phones. Her cousins have iPods and I think she felt “cool” to be sporting one too…even if it was just pretend. It is COLD here….but also a nice change…I wouldn’t mind if it was a little warmer. Tae is happy because we rode on a plane, a train and a bus today. Our rental car is mint green and the ground is white…I enjoyed hearing the crunch of snow under my feet as I walked quickly from the car to the house. It is below zero as I type this and the pipes to the washing machine are frozen. We are happy to be spending time with friends…back to our old stomping grounds…let the fun begin :)

6/365...Whoever you are....

I LOVE this book…it’s like my humanity motto. I am seriously in love with it…rightfully…because it is amazing. Nathan took it school yesterday and read it to his students. It fit in perfectly because they know me as the “save the world wife”…I just wish more people felt the same way about the world. The book talks about how inside, our hearts are all the same. How we all feel hurt and we cry and we laugh and we smile…all the same. How people are different all over the world…yet still we are all the same. It really is a great book….a small book with a big message.

I bought a few copies…plan to mail them to a few friends. Hope you like it as much as we do….whoever you are!



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5/365....A good day...

Today was a good day for Tae….we had our regular follow up with the ENT and we were both pleasantly surprised by the end of the visit. He removed one of her tubes (it was just sitting in her ear canal), did his usual exam and made his voice recorded notes (I always fing that part hilarious). Then the craziest thing happened…he stood up shook my hand and said he hopes he doesn’t have to see us again!!! She is doing so well we don’t have to go back!!! Yeah for Tae…She is sitting in her exam chair, the same chair she has sat in every 4-8 weeks for the last two years. Isn’t she so goofy and adorable? I just love her!

4/365 Back to the books....

The break is officially over….back to the books…the virtual ones. I tried to catch up on my assignments this afternoon. I did have two weeks off from school but decided to literally take those two weeks OFF.

On a cuter note…here is Tae (yesterday) sporting her new tie dye dress we made together. Doesn’t she look ready for Wo0dstock? Peace Baby!!!

3/365...Happy Birthday Buns...

We LOVE you Buns!!!! I keep trying to grasp that she is 14 now...but I am having a hard time accepting it. I do know that she is a beautiful girl and I love her!

2/365...Happy Birthday Mom...

...we LOVE you!

Just because....a picture post...

Bird watching....

Washing her tea set AFTER her tea PARTY...

Nature walk...also known as climbing a mountain....

1/365...Dress shopping...

...I should say unsuccessful dress shopping...can you feel my pain?

P.S. I am going to give this 365 thing a try....